Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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