Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
