the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
