The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
