we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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