I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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