If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
