did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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