imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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