I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
