So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
