I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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