yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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