i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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