i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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