She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
