I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
