Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
