dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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