Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
