she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
