you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
