i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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