No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
