This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
