All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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