just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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