There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
