Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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