Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
