Yo dont text me then not text me
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
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