Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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