So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Randomize
