Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Randomize
