A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
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