I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
