Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
