Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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