I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
