we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
