I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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