great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Randomize
