Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
