Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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