he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
