She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
