Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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