carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
