Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
