I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
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