I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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