how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
