So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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